Pardon My Righteous Rant

by Eddie Pipkin

Permission to rant for a second . . . or two?  Loyal readers, I simply cannot contain my exasperation.  Allow me to share with you a tale told to me which raised my hackles, ruffled my feathers, AND got my dander up.  A tale – a ministry tale – or better yet, a LACK of ministry tale, that beggared my belief.  You tell me, am I overreacting, or is this fourth-hand story emblematic of the way we lose our way, ministry-wise?

Here’s the story:

A person to whom I am close is housing a foster child for the indefinite future.  This 13-year-old foster child has had a tough life so far.  His father is not in the picture.  His mother has substance abuse issues.  He has known poverty and trauma.  He struggles in school and struggles to make friends.  He would clearly benefit big-time from participation in a solid, supportive church youth group.  The person to whom I am close has a home church in which his family has long been deeply involved.  He is raising the foster kid in a Christian home.  This young person’s spiritual development is important to the foster parent.  However, the local church they attend is a very small, rural church.  It is a friendly, welcoming place.  Most of its still active members are older now, and while they dote on the foster kid and have embraced him in every way, he has no peers there.  There is no youth group.

I suggested to the foster parent that he get the foster kid involved with a nearby church that does have an active youth group.  This did not mean they had to abandon their current church home, I argued, just that the young person in the house would have a bonus church family with friends, programming for his age group, and spiritual support.  The foster parent made a call to the nearby local church with a youth group – even though taking this approach would mean lots of driving on his part and a substantial shift in schedules to get the foster kid involved – but he made the call with hope and purpose after prayerful consideration.

Here’s where this story goes off the rails.

He spoke to the Director of Youth Ministries at this church and explained the situation.

The Youth Director listened, then asked, “So, you’re thinking about moving your membership.”

The foster parent said, “No.  As I explained, I’m a lifelong member of the church I’m attending, and we’re deeply connected to it, but it has no young people.  We just want to get him connected to a youth program, so he can learn about life with God with a circle of Christian friends his age.”

“Well,” said the Youth Director.  “We’re not really able to offer support to families that aren’t an active part of our congregation.  We just don’t have the resources for that.  If you want to consider moving your membership, we’d love to have him, but otherwise, sorry.”

The foster parent was dumbstruck.  On hearing this story, so was I.

How about you?

I’m perfectly willing to hear feedback from those of you who feel inclined to make an argument on behalf of the church with the youth program.  Please share.

As for me, I think they have completely lost sight of what following Jesus looks like.  I think they have forgotten their mission.  I think they have abdicated their responsibility as disciples.  I think this exclusionary reasoning is not just problematic; I think it’s scandalous, and I think this kind of response is one of the reasons that people have lost faith in the institution of the Christian Church.

Are we here to help people? Or are we hear to stake out our territory and prioritize and defend it all cost?

After all, the Bible covers this territory:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  (James 1:27 NIV)

In my reading, this is a case not only of neglecting to look after the orphans, but also of being polluted by the world, because it’s a worldly model that puts budgets and membership rosters ahead of helping out a kid in need.

One can speculate about the counter-arguments.  Maybe this local church has struggled with declining membership or a shrinking budget, problems that have forced cutbacks in staff and programming.  Maybe they have a core membership constituency who wants a certain kind of highly curated youth program for their own kids, and they want to shelter those “home kids” from “bad influences.”  Maybe this local church has been burned before by the toxic presence of kids who were disruptive.

Any and all of these issues make effective ministry more difficult, but I would argue that this is the difficult work that we are called to do.  It is harder, but it is more rewarding and, ultimately, more community and world changing.  We might celebrate and embrace the challenges rather than fleeing them.  These are, after all, the people who need God’s grace – and God’s people – the most.

Just as I was finishing this blog up this morning, I heard a report on NPR about the problem of medical professionals who don’t want to deal with patients with substance abuse disorders, even though those disorders are treatable (Most U.S. doctors avoid treating patients with addiction, leaving millions vulnerable).  Such patients are difficult to deal with, and they are not where the money’s at.  And yet, what of the Hippocratic Oath?  It’s summarized as “First do no harm.”  Is refusing to help the same as doing harm?

In the case of ministry, we all know how hard it is to invite in people who have extensive problems and require constant care and feeding.  But isn’t that the work that Christ has empowered us to pursue?  Don’t we learn the most and grow the most from taking on exactly that difficult work?

But all of this is just one man’s opinion.  What do you think?  Am I missing the boat here?  Is it inappropriate to weigh in another church’s ministry choices?  Have you experienced this kind of tough decision making?  Accepted someone into your ministry who had been excluded elsewhere?  Been excluded yourself?  Weigh in with your thoughts and observations!