by Eddie Pipkin

I heard a good story recently from a pastor friend who had made time for parishioners who had requested an ‘urgent’ meeting.  Their emergency?  They were greatly concerned that the church he led isn’t “doing discipleship right.”  As long as there has been a church, there have been those who are convinced that there is only one correct way to help people learn to follow Jesus.  Forgive me if you are one of them, because I could not disagree more, and I think our preoccupation with one-size-fits-all discipleship is the source of missed opportunity for so many we are called to serve.

I was reminded that there is a better way when I heard a delightful interview with portrait photographer David Suh on the TED Radio Hour podcast (part one of the episode, “How you see yourself” – follow the link to his segment here: “The ‘King of Poses’ says everyone can be photogenic.”

He begins with the premise that most people are inherently uncomfortable having their picture taken.  Many of us don’t think we look good in photos.  He uses the example from his own experience of ‘picture day’ at school, when portrait photographers pose child after child to get that ubiquitous school yearbook mugshot.  Or the classic Olan Mills family photo!  It is an infamous brand of awkward, and we’ve all been part of that process.

Suh says the camera captures the awkwardness because people don’t feel comfortable posing.  They don’t know what it is they are supposed to be doing, and they accept the professional photographer’s guidance because the professional photographer is the designated expert.  They do what they are told, angling their bodies and tilting their chins in ways that feel unnatural, positioning their hands just so, smiling an artificial smile.

Suh felt like he was letting his subjects down.  He wasn’t being faithful to the true purpose of the process: these formulaic photos did not capture the personalities and temperaments of his clients.  He decided to reinvent the process.

He involved the clients in the creative outcome!  He asked them what they would like to see represented in their own portraits.  How would they like to see themselves portrayed?  What qualities about themselves would they like to see captured?  What stories would they like to see presented about themselves?  What them would they like the world to see?

He now – to much success – engages his photography subjects in playful experimentation to help them think through these questions of defining their own desires and to get them comfortable in the studio.  He responds to their needs and helps them develop their own vision for the end goal, then guides them through the tools and strategies to bring their vision to life.

I laughed out loud when I heard the joyful manner in which Suh described his posing process.  I was outside doing yard work while listening to this podcast through my earbuds, so the neighbors must have thought I had pulled up a hilarious weed.  He made the process of posing sound so fun and so revolutionary.

“Yes!” I thought.  “This is exactly the way that discipleship should work!”

People feel so awkward around discipleship.  They want to do it well.  They know following Jesus is important; living like Jesus opens so many spiritual pathways, but they are often intimidated by the ways we describe (or don’t describe) the process.  It’s generally classes and workbooks, lots of reading, and lots of nerdy sidebars into theology and seventeen levels of scripture interpretation.  While living feels natural, since we are doing it all the time, and Jesus’ story – the way he lived moment to moment – seems so natural in the context of the Gospels, the way we teach the practical principles of a Jesus-oriented lifestyle can be maddeningly ponderous.

“Here are the boxes you must check to consider yourself a qualified disciple,” we say.  In most local churches, the options (if there are clear and accessible options) are limited and strictly defined.  And almost always, there’s a “right way” to do it.  And when is the last time you heard someone describe discipleship training as fun?  It’s the spiritual growth equivalent of a portrait photographer posing us for our discipleship cover shoot!

If we are inexperienced followers, we defer to the wiser, more seasoned leaders, and we feel inadequate if we don’t do things exactly as they are doing them.

Imagine, however, if instead of being given an inflexible list of structured objectives, we were – in the spirit of David Suh – invited into a conversation.  Imagine if we had a guide who met us where we were in the process and said, “So, what most excites you about your journey into discipleship?  What parts of following Jesus do you feel led to, and what parts intimidate you?  What would you like to learn?  And how would you like to learn it?”  What if we co-crafted our discipleship journey with a guide who not only was a knowledgeable in theology, scripture, and church life, but was also interested in partnering with us as uniquely gifted followers with distinct life experiences and perspectives that would be reflected in our own spiritual travelog?  It’s a customizable discipleship, not in the sense that we get to pick and choose the parts of following Jesus most convenient to us, but in the sense that we will have a deeper affinity with parts of the process than we will other parts.

That brings me to the “Three Ways to Do Discipleship Better,” because each of these three things spring from this model of engaging people:

  1. Please have a designated discipleship sherpa (a guide with special expertise and wisdom whose role is to help the journeyer reach their destination safely), or even better, a team of such talented guides.  Rather than being handed a pamphlet or directed to a website about discipleship and what courses we can sign up for, how much better to have a flesh and blood person with whom we can have a meaningful conversation and with whom we can work out a plan that works for us and our circumstances?
  2. Please have lots of options for people, different flavors of the discipleship journey, suitable for differences in tastes and aptitudes.  We should have at hand a wide range of possibilities in different styles and formats.  Classes and small groups are great, but there are many independent opportunities for reading, study, retreats, videos, and practical applications of the principles of service, generosity, and hospitality.  Spiritual mentors are powerful partnerships. And we don’t have to reinvent everything in-house.  One of the most exciting aspects of discipleship is the vast array of available resources from other originators that we can use at our own local church.
  3. Please help people see their discipleship journey as a creative lifelong process filled with seasons of growth and sometimes awkwardness, not a set achievement to check off.  We should be careful about the language we are using when discussing discipleship (that, for instance, when we’re talking of “moving on to perfection,” our emphasis is on the moving on, not the perfection.  We should give people safe spaces to celebrate their progress and their struggles, places where they can be honest and authentic, loved and supported, not judged.

If we give people a sense of personal discovery in their discipleship process as they work out what it means for them to follow Jesus and serve and grow within the context of their local community, and if we outfit them with all they need to travel that road, we will be people of deep faith and communities of life-changing impact.

What do you see as the challenges and opportunities of helping people strike out on their own unique discipleship journey that reflects who God has created them to be, while grounding them in the universal truths that are lived out by followers of Christ?  Do you and your leadership serve up a one-size-fits-all discipleship, or do you have lots of options to meet the needs and match the strengths of a diverse assortment of people?  Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.