by Eddie Pipkin

I faced an imminent personal crisis last week.  I was at Cracker Barrel with my mom for an early Mother’s Day breakfast, and the menu had been revised (again!).  I love those CB buttermilk pancakes – just the plain ol’ pancakes, no blueberries or fancy toppings or whipped cream.  I love them so much that I wanted three of them, instead of the two that were offered on all the new menu options.  The magically perfect three pancakes!  Desperately, I explained my dilemma to the server, Melissa, and she immediately gave me a calming look and a wide smile, soothing my obvious distress.  “Don’t you worry,” she said.  “I can make that happen.”  There are many times we find ourselves smack dab in a seemingly unsolvable conundrum, but all it takes is finding the person who knows how to get things done.  You just have to find your Melissa.

Of course, a crisis of pancakes is a pretty small-scale complication, but it illustrates the value of identifying a person who knows their craft, whatever that craft may be, and takes pride in doing it well and in helping people solve their problems.  Melissa happened to be the repository of esoteric flapjack wisdom (which is a handy skill to have at America’s favorite interstate adjacent breakfast stop – Cracker Barrel sells some 75 million pancakes a year, accompanied by more than 55 million of those cute miniature syrup bottles).  It felt refreshing to have an expert on hand who was clearly not going to be stumped by any of my pancake puzzlers.  On the other hand, we’ve all had inexperienced servers who were flustered by non-standard requests and responded with non-helpful answers like, “I’m sorry, the system won’t let me do it that way.”

When you’re trying to get a problem solved, it’s frustrating to continually run into people who insist that it is simply unsolvable.  Most every problem is solvable.  If not fully solvable, then at least partially solvable.  What is required is the persistence to keep searching for the person who can manipulate the system or provide the proper expertise.  Don’t give up!  That person is out there.

In my days as a college professor, students approached me every single semester seeking assistance with the navigation of challenging class schedule conundrums.  They had been assigned advisors who were designated for this purpose, but those advisors were often difficult to access, unfamiliar with the intricacies of the student’s field of study, or stymied by impenetrable administrative rules.  I always advised persistence.  If they could find the right person, their problem could most always be addressed.  Exceptions could be made.  Creative adjustments could be orchestrated.

We begin from a position of frustration because we can visualize a potential solution, based on our familiarity with the details of the problem; we just need to get to someone with the authority to authorize that solution once we’ve explained it to them.  Unfortunately, people with a thousand things on their plates are not going to prioritize our pet problem.  It pays to be understanding of their perspective and befriend them, not antagonize them.  It pays to be . . .

  • Patient.

Stick with it.  It may take time, and it may take talking to multiple people, but patience wins out.  Start the process with a realistic expectation that it may take awhile and you may have to work through several levels.  Be patient within conversations with individuals.  Practice empathy for them if you can – they may not have the ability to solve what needs solving, but they may hold the key to getting you to the one who can.

  • Persistent.

Keep working towards a solution.  We all know that feeling that the system is complicated in a way that is specifically designed to discourage us from continuing.  Fight that sensation and think of your problem as a complex complication that you have the strength to persevere over.  You just need a little help from the right person.

  • Polite.

Be clear, but be cheerful.  Don’t lose your cool.  It’s amazing what polite affability can accomplish, particularly if you are dealing with someone who is used to being browbeaten or criticized.  Assume a person wants to help you if they can.  Don’t be snarky out of the box, and don’t immediately escalate to a power play like, “Let me talk to a manager!”

  • Persuasive.

Be able to clearly articulate why your problem and its solution are important to you.  Help them understand why the extra effort to help you will have a meaningful impact.  Invest them in wanting to be the hero for you.

  • Persnickety.

Know the details of your problem.  Research it as much as you can prior to seeking help.  (On that note, I asked a table companion to look over my Cracker Barrel menu to confirm that the information I sought was not printed somewhere that I had missed.)  The more you know about the problem – the more you have thought potential solutions through – the better you are able to respond to false solutions or avert dead ends.  This mastery also provides further evidence as to your dedication to solution finding.

The problem of frustrating, truncated solution seeking is intensified by technology as we navigate old-school phone trees, newfangled AI chatbots, and apps and websites that promise us stellar user experiences then drop us into customer non-service cul-de-sacs.  There are two separate tracks for the times when we have to navigate the Internet and our smart devices:

  • Type a detailed message (by chat or email) that utilizes all of the same “P” principles stated above.
  • Stay focused on getting to a live person. In nearly all cases, this is eventually possible.  Make this singular obsession your goal and reward yourself with a pat on the back when you achieve it.

One tip for emotionally preparing for the slog of navigating customer service, knowing it will take awhile and be frustrating by design, is to have another task or distraction cued up to occupy you during the gaps of waiting / being on hold.  This is a much better way to use the time than fuming.  In a similar vein, know that if you leave a voice message or send an email or text, you may have to wait a day or two for a response.  That’s just the way it is sometimes.  Move on to the next thing in the meantime.

These suggestions have been geared at customer service type, bureaucratic navigation scenarios, but sometimes what we need is truly technical expertise.  I famously wrote about this in my blog, “Put a Rock in It,” in which I introduced my local pool expert, Jignesh.  He opened my eyes and changed my life one afternoon, quickly providing a low-tech solution to a problem that had thwarted me for months.  It was just a matter of asking the right guy with the wisdom and practical experience to address this specific topic.

The same “P” principles apply in finding the person with the right technical expertise.  Cue the stories from any random afternoon visit to find something specific at the Home Depot. It’s why Ace Hardware has managed to thrive in the age of the big box hardware stores and Amazon.  They provide a more intimate and often more knowledgeable level of know-how.

Flipping the script and thinking about the frustrations of non-answers from the perspective of those engaging with your ministry (or failing to engage with your ministry because they can’t get the answers they need), how do we put people and processes in place so that we are avoiding frustrating others?

  • Can people get the answers they need efficiently?
  • Are the places to get those answers clearly communicated?
  • Do we deliver what we promise for those who are seeking answers?
  • Do we provide point-persons for answering questions and connecting people to someone who can address their problems?
  • Do we make people feel bad about needing help, or do we help them feel empowered to get the help they need?

Do you have some of your own techniques for persevering to find the solution to any given problem?  What are your tips, tricks, and strategies for cutting through red tape?  What do you do when a problem seems unsolvable, and you’re stuck?  For all these issues, the deep spiritual reserves provided by the fruit of the Spirit are useful to have in our emotional toolbox.  Share your own ideas and first-hand accounts in the comments section.