Be Coachable

by Eddie Pipkin

I had a personal experience this week that I hope you can benefit from hearing about. I let myself be coached. This is probably momentous news only if you have known me for a long time. Traditionally, I am thoroughly, unfailingly, notoriously uncoachable. Don’t be like me. Don’t be stubborn. Don’t be recalcitrant. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be arrogant. Do be coachable. This one determination – to let yourself be coached – can be the game changer that sets you on a new trajectory, that saves you from self-sabotage, that opens up a whole new world. We can all use a good coaching, whatever we’re doing, however wonderful we are prior to the coach weighing in.

For the record, in the area in which I was being coached, I am not wonderful. Far from it. That area is pickleball! Yep, as a certified old-timer, I have embraced the sport of pickleball, but I do play singles as opposed to the far more popular doubles version. And singles is a different game with lots more running about the (half-sized) court.

For me, though, the real problem is that I am blind as a bat. As in, I have to have a note from the eye doctor whenever I get my driver’s license renewed, certifying that even though I can’t pass the test, I’m safe (enough) to drive. Particularly challenging with my specific vision complication is that fast moving objects can be difficult to track, like hard plastic pickleballs coming straight at you. That’s why earlier this week I was getting thrashed yet again by my good friend and pickleball playing partner, Gary. Gary is 78 years old, but he’s a gifted natural athlete, and he’s a devilish machine, precisely placing every shot and usually with an added wicked spin.

Last Tuesday, I was mis-hitting shot after shot. I’d approach the ball, swing with enthusiasm, and time after time, clunk it with the side of the racket. Frustrating. In fact, I was so frustrated that I did something I had never done in all our years of playing racquetball and pickleball together. I walked over to Gary’s side of the court, dolefully held out my racket, and asked him if he had any suggestions as to why I was failing.

“Your feet are wrong,” he said. I instantly had about five reasons that that was a ridiculous suggestion, but my play had been terrible, and he had been winning point after point, so I sucked up my pride and said, “Okay. What do you mean my feet are wrong?”

What followed was a ten-minute coaching session that explored feet placement, effective paddle swings, and sustaining mental focus. I didn’t immediately agree with all of his suggestions, but I committed to giving them a try. And guess what? I started winning points. Bit by bit I got better. And I won the next game. And the game after that.

His patient and compassionate coaching changed the outcome. I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t even mad that he had coached me into beating him. That’s just how awesome a guy he is, generous in all things, and that’s the attitude you want in a coach. Any coach.

I have traditionally been immune to coaching: arrogant and willful, convinced of the righteousness of my approach and often sticking with it long after it’s been demonstrated to be clearly ineffective. Maybe you know someone like that. Maybe you are like that. The point is that there have been many junctures in my erratic career in which embracing some coaching would probably have made a real difference in my trajectory.

A coach is a partner who helps us refine our vision for where we want to go and develop the skills to get there. A coach helps us bring out the best of who we can be. A coach helps us explore our own strengths and weaknesses and by asking great questions, offering insights based on observations, and sharing relevant experiences.

We think we are doing fine on our own, and we don’t need the added layer of coaching in our lives, but coaching can help anyone at any stage of their personal or professional development. Coaches are different from trainers, counselors, or mentors. They don’t impart knowledge to us in a teaching sense. They help us find our own way.

People are fearful of hiring a professional coach or engaging a volunteer coach for a number of reasons:

Uncertainty. We don’t know how to get started or what to expect, but there are plenty of resources to help us on our way. (One of the very best coaches I know is my Excellence in Ministry Coaching partner, Dr. Phil Maynard. He loves to help people begin their coaching journey.)
Fear. We are afraid that the coach will hold us accountable to things we might not want to do, or lead us down avenues we don’t want to go, but we can’t progress without stretching ourselves, and if we are going to go on a challenging journey, won’t it be a hundred times better to do it with someone beside us who is cheering us on and helping us navigate obstacles.
Stigma. We think engaging a coach means that we’ve failed in some way. Well, winning teams have coaches, too! In fact, they usually have the best coaches!
Pride. We don’t think the coach has anything to offer that we can’t do for ourselves.

The benefits of a coaching relationship are copious. Go to any career advice on the Internet, and it will recommend coaching for those who want to succeed and get ahead. For instance, this article on the Indeed website offers up no less than 10 reasons that having a coach is a good move (summarized from the linked article by Jennifer Herrity):

Staying on task.
Setting better goals.
Maximizing job satisfaction.
Clarifying your values.
Overcoming obstacles.
Increasing confidence.
Enhancing skills.
Encouraging institutional engagement.
Deepening connections.
Positioning us for leadership roles.

How many of those things could use a boost in your current portfolio as a leader? I checked off several of these areas in which I could improve even as I was typing the list. And every one of these things is more important than pickleball.

If you are at a really good place in your own mission, maybe it’s time for you to take on some training for being a coach to others. If you’ve got experience to share and a heart for helping others, it’s a great way to make a difference that carries your legacy into the future. Dr. Phil Maynard can help with that quest, too!

What has your experience with coaching been? Have you received some pivotal coaching in your own professional journey? Has a coach made a difference in your life? Share your story! If you’re struggling, what’s holding you back from engaging a coach to help you? It could be the missing step in getting yourself back on track. Make a plan today, and I’ll see you on the pickleball court. Watch out! I’ve been coached.