By Eddie Pipkin
November 21, 2017
A couple of weeks ago, long-distance runner Shalane Flanagan won the New York City Marathon, the first American woman to do so in 40 years (with an impressive time of 2 hours and 26 minutes). It was an amazing individual accomplishment, but inspiring as it was, there is something even larger that Shalane Flanagan is respected for in the running community (as explained here in a recent New York Times article):
“Shalane has pioneered a new brand of ‘team mom’ to these young up-and-comers, with the confidence not to tear others down to protect her place in the hierarchy,” said Lauren Fleshman, who became a professional runner in the early 2000s, around the same time Flanagan did. “Shalane’s legacy is in her role modeling, which women in every industry would like to see more of.” The problem for elite women runners, historically, is that despite their raw talent and willingness to work hard, they most often functioned without a supportive extended community to encourage them, share the stress, and gain the wisdom of experience. Therefore, they most often peak, then burn out, with their true potential unfulfilled, their racing days over too soon. It occurred to me as I was reading her story that this is exactly the dilemma faced by many young adults in the church. They have passion and ideas—they care deeply about God and their community—they want to serve—they want to build lasting relationships—but many local churches are unsure what to do with them. Like the women Shalane Flanagan decided to nurture, they have a history of peaking in a blaze of glory, then burning out and becoming disaffected with the institution they once so loved. One of the most powerful strategies available to existing faith communities in avoiding this unfortunate turn of events is fostering mentor relationships: older Christians who have been traveling for longer on the faith journey and are willing to share their wisdom and support with someone who is younger and formative in their faith. Just as Flanagan built a sympathetic shared space for accountability and encouragement, local churches can provide the framework for intergenerational connections which help young people channel their energy and ideas. This is an opportunity for older congregations to invest themselves in a legacy for the future while bringing fresh energy to the life of the local church. Marian Liautaud at Exponential sums it up (as part of an article titled, “Five Things Millennials Wish the Church Would Be”): Millennials don’t feel the same sense of obligation to attend church that previous generations may have. At the same time, being part of a faith community can provide young adults with exactly the mentorship and guidance they crave from older adults. Barna’s research shows that young adults who remain involved in a local church beyond their teen years are twice as likely as those who don’t to have a close personal friendship with an older adult in their faith community (59% vs. 31% among church dropouts). They’re also twice as likely to have had a mentor other than a pastor or youth minister (28% vs. 11%). “Mentoring and discipling this next generation is everything,” says Aspen Group CEO Ed Bahler, a founding partner of the Cornerstone Knowledge Network. Baby Boomers, Bahler says, hold all the financial, intellectual, professional and relational capital. “The golden opportunity for the Church is learning how to tap into all of this capital and leverage it to equip the next generation to lead in the church.” Of course, it is not only about equipping the next generation—prepping promising future leaders for the far-off time when they can take their turn. Too often, existing churches think in these dead-end terms. The problem with this approach is that once you inspire young people to be passionate about serving Jesus, they are not likely to hang around waiting their turn until the present generation of leaders dies off. If we don’t give them significant roles in casting our vision and carrying it out right now, they will go find someone and someplace that will. This understanding that the purpose of mentoring is to help those being mentored discover and develop their own call is a core mindset for those who would serve as mentors. Kurt Willems, writing at Patheos in the article, “The Crisis of Millennial Mentorship: What Young Leaders Desperately Need to Hear,” shares from his own experience: Too often mentorship becomes something like mold-er-ship: trying to create clones who create more clones is one of the crises of mentorship for the millennial generation. We long to become more fully human – more of who we were meant to be – not merely a younger version our mentor. What those of us in our 20s and early 30s (millennials) crave more than anything from spiritual and ministry mentors is safety. In most mentoring situations that go bad, the number one complicating factor usually comes down to the reality that a mentor was uncomfortable creating space for their mentee to safely ask questions, doubt, or even to disagree. For those would-be mentors who “get it,” there are some other basic principles for what makes a successful mentorship (expanded on in this Crosswalk article from Whitney Hopler, “Mentor the Next Generation”): Just like Shalane Flanagan, we can move beyond our own success to build a supportive system of up-and-coming strivers who find successes of their own. Does the church you are part of have a program that helps connect mentors with young people? Have you ever been a part of such a program? If so, what was your experience? Have you personally mentored another disciple? Do you have thoughts on a wonderful mentor who helped you on your own journey? Share your stories and questions here in our comments section. And blessings to you in your ministry this week.
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